IB Quotes

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“Everything is so hard!”
~ Student in Math

“Stop tapping into my source!”
~ Devin, in Science

“I spent so much time on it!”
~ Student, on screwing up on a Math quiz

“60 hours a day? *hysterical laughter*
~ Mr Peters, on a student’s spreadsheet skills

“This paper is made out of the blubber of a polar bear! … I feel like Santa Claus …”
~ Devin, on his psychological state

“So, what, the Leafs haven’t won in 40 years? Wow, you have NEVER seen them win the Stanley Cup.”
~ Mr Mitchell, on Mr Greenslade’s hockey preferences

“I’ve gotten -6 people to read manga this year! YAY!”
~ Jen, on her 1337 skills

“I am leaving. You are about to explode. *explosion*”
~ Teal’c, on an uncooperative person (Talion, Stargate SG-1)

“Sanjaya finally bites the dust.”
~ Everybody, on Sanjaya who was on American Idol

“Oh noes oh noes… oh uranium!”
~ Michael, in the presentation script for Science

“If I die, you can have my site Devin.”
~ Famous last words

“Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.”
~ Charles J. Sykes (I think)

“You two should get married.”
~ Mr G, to whatever Garry and Stef were doing

“I CAN’T TAKE THIS MUCH INFORMATION!”
~ Tim, in Math

“You know how I know you’re tired? Your mouth is hanging open.”
~ Mr G, to Stef

“Actually, no, because awards don’t spark sales as much as you’d think.”
~ Chantal Kreviazuk

“I wasn’t going to let you die, lieutenant. That’s like, a ton of paperwork.”
~ Jack O’Neill, Stargate SG-1

“The Event Horizon is the culmination of a secret government project to create a spacecraft capable of faster-than-light flight.”

“Uhm, excuse me. See, you can’t actually do that.”
~ Dr Weir and Smith, Event Horizon

“Facebook has been scientifically proven to cause severe brain death, reducing a student to an enslaved, shambling monstrosity within mere seconds of joining the website.”
~ Uncyclopedia

“Will the robots take over the world?”
~ A certain student

“…and suddenly Goldilocks walks in… I swear she took the bus.”
~ Raymond, on Little Red Riding Hood

“THIS IS TARTAN! *kick*”
~ Ian Chang presidential video

“I was hoping for a 25/30. Oh.”
~ A teacher asks a student what he/she were expecting on their French test.  The student then sees their test.

“It scampered away like a Britney Spears fan.”
~ Anonymous

“Half of 15 is 14!”
~ Jen”s Math skills

“We charge the defendant with hagracy…”
~ A student, with charges in the trial

“Almost doesn’t count except in bombs, horseshoes and ballroom dancing.”
~ Mr Conway

“How can we trust a lawyer that can’t even count PAST 2?!”
~ Michael, on Flame Boy

“What is conjugation?”
~ Irene, on her French skills

“Horsefeathers!”
~ Sean’s phrase of exclamation

“you toilet otter”
~ Sean, on himself

“Where are the 2 labels I just printed off?”
~ Kevin, while holding the labels

“I thought Christina Aguilera was indie!”
~ Poster

“I’M FINALLY TALLER THAN SOMEONE ELSE!”
~ Stef in a delusional state

“They [the exponents] multiply like rabbits!”
~ Mr Slykhuis, on exponent rules

“Beauteous!”
~ Random teacher on Channel 42

“I can’t hear Nick because I can’t see him.”
~ Mr Stevens

“What are the top 3 car manufacturers in the Czech Republic?”
~ Mr Stevens to Erich, in a character selecting trivia thing

“I may not have a life, but I have a wife!”
~ Sean, while hallucinating

“How does everyone know I was at Campbell, besides my contact name?”
~ Dan, on MSN

“Guinevere is a *derogatory term*!”
~ Mr Stevens, on a student’s character choice for a presentation

“Useless facts are important! Someone could point a gun at you and ask you about the origin of the colonel burger!”
~ Taras, about Mr Stevens’s “useless” facts

“I MEANT USELESS FACTS IN A DEMONSTRATIVE SENSE! A DEMONSTRATIVE SENSE! *cuts people off multiple times afterwards*”
~ Taras, in a “debate” in Mr Stevens’s room

“I’m Beowulf, as you can see by my buff manliness.”
~ Nick, while doing a skit

“These are mango slices cut in squares and these are chicken wings.”
~ Mr Stevens, talking about cheese and apple, respectively

“I have no money and no friends, so how much money do I give to each of my friends?”
~ A certain Math teacher explaining a crucial mathematical concept

“I once had a student tell me that he couldn’t do the Cooper because a bag of frozen peas fell on his foot.”
~ A certain Wellness teacher

“Look at this beautiful weather outside!“
~ A certain History teacher, commenting on the frigid morning air

“There’s nothing wrong with 1/5!“
~ A certain History teacher on the awesomeness of failing essays

“Why are you laughing at me? Is it because I’m so handsome?“
~ Harry

“Nick’s bladder has just exploded.“
~ Mr Stevens, pointing to odd drops of water on the floor leading to the bathroom

“TARAS.“
~ Mr Stevens standard greeting to Taras, usually with a slight hint of contempt

“Why’d you pee your pants?“
~ Sean’s water accident

“I’M SO RAGING HARD! ARGH! WHERE ARE MY DRAWINGS?!“
~ Nick. Pretty self-explanatory

“Susie, are you blowing kisses to me?“
~ Mr Stevens, an instant before he made a D: expression

“Your eyes… they’re like sparkling giants.“
~ Sir Erik, confessing his undying love for Megan

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Obligatory John McCain Gaffe:

A reporter from Politico asked Senator McCain exactly how many homes he indeed owns:

McCain: “I think — I’ll have my staff get to you,” McCain told Politico in Las Cruces, N.M. “It’s condominiums where — I’ll have them get to you.”
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